The Artificial Sun

I have this idea to do two different and simultaneous series of postings…one about the equipment and things in the room, and another about Liam. Both will attempt to go a little more in depth about things that we have referenced or talked about here before – but I’m really not sure how effective or long this experiment is going to be. So we’ll see, and we can always abandon the idea if it just isn’t working. Oh, don’t worry…the postings about the things that you are used to hearing about will still be coming. So let’s begin with a little bit about the artificial sun.

In order to artfully explain what an artificial presence might be, normally I feel like there is a need to define the real item. However, since we all know that the sun is a smiley-faced orange dot with five or six rays coming off of it, there really isn’t too much of a need to go really in depth on establishing a base line for everyone to understand. But, in an attempt to create an artificial one of those, the designers of the Giraffe Warmer missed the mark all together and created something that is unfriendly and protected with a cage.

The Giraffe Warmer is the official product name of the bed that Liam is sleeping in. And this thing can’t be cheap…it’s got locking wheels, two pull-through drawers, a tilting sleep surface, oxygen tubing connections, two spot lights, two ambiance lights, an obnoxious warning light and alarm, a computer system that reads the baby’s temperature, and the warmer that the computer controls. It’s that very warmer that is the purpose of this bed, and it’s that very warmer that has been designed as the solar replica. The warmer is powerful, and does it’s job…the only problem with the design, is that it’s primary focus is on keeping the baby warm – and the baby is located about four feet from the warming element. Here’s the rub: when you (the adult) go to do anything with the baby (change diaper, change clothes, change bedding, etc), your head is somewhere in the neighborhood of 12-18 inches from the sun. This creates a space that is only momentarily tenable, and an urgency to get things done that is slightly abnormal – or you will end up tanned/burned and sweating like it’s summer in the Midwest. I’m afraid that there is soon going to be a single spot on my balding head that will look like it took a trip alone to Mexico while the rest of me stayed in Colorado for the winter.

While we have undoubtedly figured out more efficient ways to accomplish any task when Liam is in bed, things just take a certain amount of time no matter how fast you are moving. And this bed – as perfectly functional as it is – will not be missed.


  1. Oren, you never cease to amaze me with your very astute observations. I think you should call customer support and share this design flaw. But your post also inspires me to consider whether I could put a warming light over my office desk. It just doesn’t ever get warm in my cubby. Thinking of you all today! love, tori

  2. put some sunscreen on that dome of yours. I appreciate that you include so many of us into your observations and daily life. As always take care and we love you all.

  3. Scott and Jenn says:

    See how useful that cowboy hat would have been? Sad Ezra didn’t get one for you! 😉

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