There is a line from one of those songs in the Best Of 2010 Playlist post: “Love that will not betray you, dismay or enslave you. It will set you free.” It’s a line that since hearing the song has taken on probably 20 different meanings and has applied to as many different situations…but none like this one with Liam. And it’s not entirely true. Love does betray you, dismay you and will enslave you…and at times confuses you. However, in my heart of hearts I also believe that love in itself will set you free.
This is tough and this is hard, and it’s unfair. We have received a lot of support, and a lot of people commenting about how we are handling this; but you need to know that we wouldn’t wish this on our worst enemy. There are fleeting moments that pass feeling as though things are going to be okay: whether we are spending some play time with Ezra or looking at a beautiful sleeping Liam – but we know different. Yes, in the greater sense of the word, I suppose that someday things are in fact going to be ‘okay’; but in the truer pragmatic meaning of the word, things aren’t going to be ‘okay.’ No matter the outcome, there have been conversations, discussions, thoughts, and sights that have forever changed the way that we will see everything – and not always for the better.
We do in fact rely on love to get through this: the love that we are given from our families, the love that we are given from our friends, the love that we are given from the nurses and doctors, the love that we are given from each other, the love that we are given from Ezra, and the love that we are given from Liam. Love is what holds us upright and keeps us moving. It’s what allows us to meet each day and the challenges that it presents – it’s the tie that binds. And all that we can do is fall back on it when we have no other place to go.