Yea, that’s actually what it says: it’s too easy…and herein lies the rub.
It’s been two months, as of today, since we last held Liam; and that hurts a lot. Two months ago we sat at the hospital and had our lives irreversibly changed in a way that we didn’t want them to be changed. We left the hospital with a feeling of sadness and loss that has only gotten more intense, and we haven’t been back. There are moments, even hours, that go by and Liam isn’t at the forefront of each and every thought; and we hate that. And the normal activities in our day-to-day lives are all to simple and easy. And it’s in that simplicity that we are constantly reminded of what we don’t have.
Take yesterday for example…just like any other randomly selected day in our current lives. We woke, made some breakfast, and watched a little TV. We decided that we would go for a walk/run and loaded the car – with a stroller for one. After that, I went and ran a few errands by myself and Ahna and Ezra played outside before heading to the grocery store. All of that done without worry or concern for a baby’s feeding and napping schedule. In the evening we went down to my parent’s house for Passover Seder, and enjoyed a wonderful meal well into the evening without a glimmer of a crying or needy baby in sight. Trust me when I tell you that’s its just has hard to write this down as it is to live it. It shouldn’t be this simple. It really sucks.
It’s a heavy-hearted day. We miss Liam.