Liam found his way into a sleep position that reminded us of someone else at a similar age….

For the second time in three days we have been treated to another amazing show from a big brother to his little brother. Ezra loved and hugged, sang and danced, talked and smiled to Liam while he was here. And then to top it all off? He asked to sit in the chair and hold Liam. I am proud to suggest that for the second time on the same subject, I have underestimated Ezra. Following his very first visit, the next two times that he was in the room proved to much more difficult, and much more in line with what we would have anticipated an adjustment to a new member of the family to look like. We understood that it was difficult for Ezra to see all of this, to not have Liam at home, and that we shouldn’t expect that he would make a transition that normally takes several months in just a few days. Wrong again. Ezra is an amazing son and an even more amazing big brother. We couldn’t ask for a better cure to the day than to have him around.

Liam’s medical update is unfortunately similar to the last one. He continues to struggle with his vital signs and continues to struggle with maintaining his temperature. Several times over the last 24 hours his heart rate has confusingly dropped to well below normal levels. It does go back up after a period of time, only to drop back down sometime later. To the best of anyone’s recognition, there isn’t any sort of pattern to it or any sort of indicator that it’s going to happen – thus making it somewhat unnerving when it does. After being here for as long as we have, you tend to get used to certain noises and alarms – as well as certain new vital sign normals. But I’m not sure that you ever get used to the ‘norm’ that is when the beeping starts for an alarming change in vital signs.

Just the photos.

We are blessed to be surrounded by some pretty talented people. Some of them are gear heads, some are tech geeks, some are musicians, some are outdoorsy, some are politically motivated, some are just plain cool, and some are artsy. A good friend of ours is one of those artsy types, and has an amazing talent for painting. We have been fortunate to have received several other pieces of her art over the years (if you ever come to our house, all of them are proudly displayed) including some pieces that you might know about: the art from our wedding invitation and the art from Ezra’s baby shower invitation.

So as we got closer to Liam’s due date, we reached out to her and asked her to do another painting. The art that she has done specifically with our family in mind has been centered on a Colorado staple: the aspen tree. For our wedding, the drawing was of an aspen tree with our initials carved into it. For Ezra’s shower, it was two aspen trees with a sapling growing between them. And now, in the best piece yet, there are the three trees from before (Ezra’s just a little older) and a new one for Liam. Perhaps my favorite part of the painting is the rest of the grove that surrounds the four trees….our extended family and friends. I don’t know how to describe the amount of time, effort, and thought that goes into a painting like this one; other than to use the word ‘love.’ Thank you, Erin!

As we continue in our lives down a path of religious fulfillment, we are also paving the road for a household of two religions (see link above for a much deeper explanation about our intentions). Since we are not shying away from either religion and it’s our intent to be as inclusive of each of them as is possible, we have introduced Liam as a child of God and practicing member in both the Lutheran faith and the Jewish faith. Almost 10 days ago Liam had is baptism; and last night Liam had a naming ceremony.

For those that might be unfamiliar with a Jewish naming ceremony (don’t worry, we didn’t really know the details either), in it’s easiest explanation it’s the Bris without the cutting. In our case, it wasn’t a matter of a circumcision or not, it was a matter of what is appropriate for this situation. Traditionally, the circumcision in the Jewish faith is the male covenant with God, the community, and the earth – but there was an obvious missing piece for the girls….so, a naming ceremony with all of the same rituals and prayers was created to create that same covenant without the gender specifics.

Similar to the Catholic tradition of giving a Saint’s name to a baby at either baptism or confirmation, there is a tradition in Judaism to give a name for which your child will be ‘known amongst the Jewish people.’ It’s a ceremonial thing and is a chance to connect the child with something else: a family member, a word (light, hope, etc), etc. We chose to give Liam the name Zwi, which is the name my Saba took when he came to Israel from Germany as the Holocaust began. It means deer or gazelle, which really doesn’t have a larger-than-life meaning…but every time that you see one of those animals, you can now think of Liam.

We did the ceremony in the hospital room with our Rabbi from our Jewish community. As we were able to do with the baptism, we hooked up via the powers of iChat and had some of our family there with us. One of the mizvot (acts of sacred connection) that is performed in the ceremony is wrapping Liam in a tallit, which there are photos of below.

During the holiday, the rules at the visitation rules at the entire hospital – and especially the NICU – were relaxed a little to allow for families and siblings to visit (they are pretty strict this time of year due to flu/cold season). Last evening we were able to bring Ezra back into the room to meet Liam for the first time. As we eluded to in the last post, we were a little worried about how Ezra would do in the room full of things that he couldn’t do…but we were wrong. Just before coming into the NICU, I sat down with Ezra and explained that he couldn’t run and couldn’t press any buttons. His response? A remarkably understanding “Ok.”

Once we made our way back to the room, Ezra saw Ahna and gave her a huge hug. We then picked him up so he could see Liam for the first time. The initial sight was a little confusing to him as he just stared taking in everything. Then…it was all good. He started to warm up to Liam by asking questions about the tubing and wires, then touched Liam on the head, arms, and legs. Earlier in the morning, we asked Ezra to pick out a teddy bear to give to Liam, and he chose one that he has had since he was born. We wrapped it together and presented it to Liam. We placed the bear in the corner of Liam’s crib and I asked Ezra to tell Liam what the bear says. He responded by saying that the bear says “I love you.”

Ezra has far exceeded our expectations on how good he is as a big brother (and we had high ones). He is so caring, so careful, so loving, and so concerned. He got excited by the gifts that Liam gave to him, and equally excited about being able to be bedside and touching Liam. He told him goodbye, see you soon, and sleep well. It was one of the most gratifying and emotional experiences a parent could ever ask for.

Well, it’s not the way that we imagined it, but we are trying to make the best of what is in front of us. We have struggled a bit trying to balance the needs of both Ezra and Liam, as we haven’t found the ‘create duplicates of yourself’ software yet. Yesterday, Saba and Savta (Hebrew for Grandfather and Grandmother) worked really hard at preparing a delicious meal for us to share. They brought the food, along with a lot of stuff to make the cafeteria seem more homely and we enjoyed a Christmas Eve meal together. We then traveled home and opened a few gifts last night with Ezra before putting him to bed.

Ahna and I came back to the hospital after Ezra was sleeping and spent the night here. We woke super early and went back home so we could be there when Ezra woke up…and to see what Santa brought. Ezra had left a note along with cookies and milk for Santa, and sure enough, all that was left were some crumbs and a return note. We enjoyed opening gifts this morning before we again returned to the hospital.

This evening we are planning another meal in the cafeteria before Ezra will have the opportunity to meet Liam for the first time. They are making special exemptions to the no-under-12 rule in the NICU for Christmas. Even though he will be allowed in the room for 2 hours, we are having a hard time imagining anything more than 15 minutes due to his propensity to want to hit buttons – and if there is any place that it isn’t good to randomly hit buttons, it’s here.

Medically speaking, Liam continues to have seizures – which at the exact moment might/might not be controlled. He has gone down just a hair on his blood pressure meds, but otherwise things aren’t all that different from the last update. We continue to have chances to hold him – which takes three nurses to get him in and out of bed. The staff here is simply amazing and are willing to bend over backwards at a moments notice to allow it to happen.

Again, I tell you all that there is no way that we could ever return the love and support that you are giving to us. Keep the correspondence coming…it’s good for us. Love to you all, and Merry Christmas (or happy Saturday to the rest of you).